Hosptial Training III

All I can say is... brilliant fun! There is a team in the hospital responsible for transporting inpatients between their rooms and various tests (ie xray, ultrasound) and back or discharging them. For my last five hours of training I shadowed this team and ended up spending lots of time with several really interesting patients.

Easily the most interesting was a man who had heart problems and a severe buildup of fluid in his legs (preventing him from voluntary movement). He was a very nice man and we chatted for nearly two hours while we got him to xray and had four chest films taken ( they blew the tube in the xray machine due to the high dose of radiation) - he told me all about his godsons, whom apparently I would quite like as they are footballers (read: soccer) and are 6'3'' and 6'4'' and very handsome ;) After we finished he wanted to stand up and re-adjust his gown and his placement on the bed so we helped him stand up (he farted) and as soon as he was up ... "did you bring the bedpan? I really need to pee!" Of course, we hadn't brought the bedpan. By the time we made is out of xray this man had three radiologic nurses and three transporters attending to him.

The first transport of the day was a woman who had come in through the ER and needed an ultrasound. We arrive with a stretcher and the doctor stopped us in the hallway, "she's not going to fit on that." Apparently there are oversized beds we can use for, well, oversize patients, but they are a huge pain in the butt because finding one in the hospital is tough and you have to dissassemble the arms to get them through doorways. "you can try, she must have been on one in the ER, but... good luck." Try we did, and managed it too. Luckily she was mobile and could walk over to it herself (it would have taken a 4 horse team to lift her) - this woman was EASILY the largest human I've ever seen in person. Her boobs were at her belly button, her arms were bigger than my hips and her ankles were the size of my head.

The whole experience has made me quite excited for my time there. Maybe after the summer (I'm registered for far more courses than is advisable) I'll see if I can get a job in the hospital. One that pays.