Oh man - what a solidly decent day! I was busy enough at work to keep myself going but not so busy I stressed out. There was a fair amount of camaraderie and joking going on too... always a good thing. Then we went out for Ollie's leaving drinks and I had such a blast! Girl talk with Sharon - she listened when I went on about A--- and Ollie opened up about his two birds and it was just fun! The three vodka oranges and an apple martini didn't hurt by any means... And tomorrow (Thurs) we're going out again.. of course Friday cos Swati is here... Sat off to London- yay! Man, I am still buzzing, I wonder if I'll wake up with a hangover or still wobbly...:)?

Right, I'm over the whole tired bad mood thing. I've decided it's not so much about proving yourself and impressing people, it's more about simply being nice to people. So that's the new goal - play nice, be patient, and have a little fun.
I was reviewing my bloke list the other day (list of boys I've kissed - it's in my journal) and I can't complain - New York has been good to me. I was worried about what the whole concept implied, but it's kissing... its not like I'm screwing around with a trail of guys whos names I don't remember. It's all good fun, right?
I got the most killer jacket on Sunday - now I just need an opportunity to wear it. It's a motorcycle cut: white with red details. I wish I had a digital camera, it's simply cool. You wish you had this jacket.
This sounds like a frivolous entry, but it's really not: this is a shift in my thinking. This is me letting go of a lot of shit that was weighing on my shoulders. Oh - and guess who passed her exam? Yeah baby - London here I come!

Life seems to require a lot of effort right now, it's exhausting.

So some people can be really really honest in their blogs and I have to admit, I keep a journal for that stuff. There's only so much of me I'll put on public display. That being said - here's a fairly naked entry.
This weekend I was partying in Jersey with people and I had such a blast, actually the whole weekend was such a blast, not just Friday, but that's where the story is. I met a guy, not a surprise, and I ended up really liking him - big surprise. I hate how I do this. I know perfectly well I'm not going to see someone again and I'm good - I don't let things go too far - I know I'd get attached. Thing is, I've ended up attached to this guy regardless! One day someone will call me back. I'll pick the right guy or the timing will work out or whatever you want to attribute it to, but in the meantime I've got to stop thinking about him. I am such a girl.
I need a hobby. Something other than reading - I need something that will be more of an outlet because I think I'm getting all wound up. I react a lot, I've lost that buffering ability. This is probably not making any sense at all. It's like I've lost some of my internal control and in trying to get it back I end up defensive and inflexible, which only makes things worse. My girlfriend said to start meditating (I used to and stopped for no good reason) and she might have something there. I need to calm down, take a moment, and realise that I'm more than fine. My life is in really good shape.
I need to knock off the Oreos. I need to run again - I miss running. Thankfully I can still run four miles in a session and feel energized at the end, but damn if I only get to go once a week now. I should start getting myself out of the office sooner - after all, I'm in before everyone else. I should leave and get back here and run, that would be a great outlet.
Hobbies... I could revive the knitting, but how many scarves do I need? Hmmm, it needs to be non-academic so languages, maths, and such are out... drawing - I still have my charcoal and my board/pads here. If I can find some architechture and/or sculpture I could draw... no gee... where would I find that in this city ;)
Swimming! I should totally find out when the lane times are in midtown - I have a pool so I should use it! I'd love to swim actually. Since Australia I've missed the water (though I could deal without the bathing suit thing).
Swati is vetoing the dark hair. I'm still 50/50. Get your vote in before the scales tip.