06 September 2004

So some people can be really really honest in their blogs and I have to admit, I keep a journal for that stuff. There's only so much of me I'll put on public display. That being said - here's a fairly naked entry.
This weekend I was partying in Jersey with people and I had such a blast, actually the whole weekend was such a blast, not just Friday, but that's where the story is. I met a guy, not a surprise, and I ended up really liking him - big surprise. I hate how I do this. I know perfectly well I'm not going to see someone again and I'm good - I don't let things go too far - I know I'd get attached. Thing is, I've ended up attached to this guy regardless! One day someone will call me back. I'll pick the right guy or the timing will work out or whatever you want to attribute it to, but in the meantime I've got to stop thinking about him. I am such a girl.
I need a hobby. Something other than reading - I need something that will be more of an outlet because I think I'm getting all wound up. I react a lot, I've lost that buffering ability. This is probably not making any sense at all. It's like I've lost some of my internal control and in trying to get it back I end up defensive and inflexible, which only makes things worse. My girlfriend said to start meditating (I used to and stopped for no good reason) and she might have something there. I need to calm down, take a moment, and realise that I'm more than fine. My life is in really good shape.
I need to knock off the Oreos. I need to run again - I miss running. Thankfully I can still run four miles in a session and feel energized at the end, but damn if I only get to go once a week now. I should start getting myself out of the office sooner - after all, I'm in before everyone else. I should leave and get back here and run, that would be a great outlet.
Hobbies... I could revive the knitting, but how many scarves do I need? Hmmm, it needs to be non-academic so languages, maths, and such are out... drawing - I still have my charcoal and my board/pads here. If I can find some architechture and/or sculpture I could draw... no gee... where would I find that in this city ;)
Swimming! I should totally find out when the lane times are in midtown - I have a pool so I should use it! I'd love to swim actually. Since Australia I've missed the water (though I could deal without the bathing suit thing).
Swati is vetoing the dark hair. I'm still 50/50. Get your vote in before the scales tip.

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