07 May 2005

Back when I was still writing regularly, about two months ago now, I thought I was more negative than I should have been. As my brother pointed out to me, it's scary watching someone who has a pretty plum set-up do nothing but complain. But when I read my friends blogs and emails, or talk to them on the phone, we're all like this. We've all graduated and become frustrated, disappointed, lonely, and in some cases, angry. In the context of the Time magazine article I have to wonder if this is a wider phenomenon - a symptom plaguing the new "twixter" class (I hate that word). What is causing this mass discontent?
By far the most common reason is a feeling of social disconnect. Either we aren't in a relationship and/or we feel we've lost the close circle of friends that was so central to our previous lives. I know I miss having my girlfriends in particular. All my life I have been surrounded predominately by males and only now do I realise how much I needed those few special women I am friends with. And yeah, it would be cool to have a boyfriend. But I'm one of those girls with personality, not stunning good looks so I'm going to have to get really desperate until some truely mediocre guy actually looks good and I settle. Oh that's a bad thought.
The next most common is our jobs. Either they are not challenging enough or they are boring, which amounts to about the same thing. I am so sick of companies telling me I need to apply for jobs on their schedule! First I have to be somewhere for a year. Then I can start applying for a first year position which would start a year from application. So I'd be in square one two years after leaving college... so I'm wasting my time in this boring idiocy they call equity derivative support? I'll put in my time but please tell me it's at least leading somewhere!
What I'm really getting at is that I don't feel so bad posting negative entry after negative entry. I don't know a lot of happy people out there in their mid-twenties and we're all feeling the same stuff. So, yeah, I'm frustrated and angry and alone too. And it sucks. I'm thinking of becomming a doctor to get away from this operations "job" but the one thing that stops me is I know how good I would be farther up in business. Can I suck it up long enough to get there? If this year is any indication, probably not. College is so free and your early twenties are so... stuck. No wonder we're miserable.


Jim said...

I think you are looking for the reason that you are here on this planet. Have you ever read "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis? If you have what do you think about it?

design42 said...

No, I haven't. I've only read his Narnia series. Though I must admit that I don't believe religion will solve my problems. Pretty certain actually.