Turmoil - in a good sense

My whole life changed in 48 hours and as a result everything is up in the air, there's tons to do, and I'm the happiest I've been in a while! I'm going back to school starting Jan 9 - Philly here I come! I have one year of post-bac at Penn, hopefully while working in the hospital and a lab, and then it's application time for a PhD or MD program.

In the meantime I'll be leaving UBS and hopefully living in Thailand for 2 - 2.5 months while getting my scuba certification. That is, my Professional Divemaster certification ;) Yay!

I'm also hoping to get on the last recruiting trip to CMU before I go so hopefully I'll see those of you in the 'burgh in late September. And I'm working on gettting to Chicago too.. Swati ; )

Of course they'll be at least a week in LA too - probably at the end of December. Anyone who doesn't have somewhere for New Years should consider coming to LA and we'll make our own party... New York has been DONE on that front.

It's been a rather social last couple of weeks which is really hurting my gym time - especially now when I have to double down! If I'm gonna live in a wetsuit for 2 months I need to start getting some serious miles in.

And now for some serious sleeping. I am bursting with happiness. It feels like anything is possible - and I'm definately feeling a little more risk prone. You know what I mean? When you do and try things you wouldn't otherwise because you're happy and excited and things are working out well?

OH Y E A H !

Just take a look at this...

Our admission committed has reviewed your application and the results of
your interview and we are pleased to offer you admission to the Post-Bac
Pre-Health Program at Penn. Congratulations!

I GOT IN!

Know what this means?

I CAN QUIT!

Another Brilliant Weekend

DC was a complete blast last weekend, and NYC/Philly was brilliant this weekend. Mike Olson came up to the City and it was so much fun - we did thai, ice cream, the city bakery, scones... it wasn't healthy but is was a lot of fun. The ice cream at Cones was great too - I had banana and hazelnut (wow!). Mike is a really great guy and it was awesome to see him again.
Philly was cool. I'd never been there before and it's really a neat city. The Penn interview went well and it looks like (fingers crossed) I could be there in January. It would take a year to complete my coursework and then I could work in a lab and get free education credits while I apply to med school. As always, it was really good seeing Priya and just being at Penn I got that feeling... that feeling that it was right. The same that I got being at CMU for the first time - a feeling I did not get when I signed up with UBS. I don't want to rush into anything, but this really does seem like a good idea, like the right thing to do, like something that will make me happy again.
Oh, and also... Kat hired someone for me to train in DI who starts on 29 Aug. Then I will move to the Index desk. At least that will make the interim more bearable. Dare I say it... I'm feeling optimistic : )

Photos from DC

http://www.flickr.com/photos/design42/

Slogging it out

I'm trying really hard to keep a positive attitude but it's tough. I know there are people in far worse situations than me and that I am lucky and should be thankful...
1) My job SUCKS. Everyday someone else jokingly says "bet you're glad you're doing this eh?" Um, if you would a bullet to the head over my job what makes you think I'm any different?
2) Writing cover letters is... less than fun. Especially since it's unlikely the 5 trillion of them I've written are actually going to get read by someone and lead to a job. Very disheartening.
3) I hate the person this is turning me into. I'm becomming bitter and angry and every time I open my mouth a torent of whining and complaining comes out. This post is a perfect example.
4) I'm tired. All the time. I want a life but I don't have the energy to live one.
5) The chances it will get better soon are small. The promotion I was going to get? There have to be people in the group to supervise and we're 6 people down and on a hiring freeze, which leads to... no chance of taking vacation because no one can cover for me. The only person at work who understands is about to leave for maturnity leave until FEBRUARY. I can't move internally because my team won't let me leave and no other team wants the bad feelings... and externally... what company really looks at the resumes they get over the internet?
6) The previous 5 points have affected my motivation and performance. Basically, I don't give a damn anymore.

I haven't felt this trapped, frustrated, angry, unchallenged, and miserable in a long time. It actually reducing me to tears annoyingly frequently and I know it's giving me a vile aura. I used to be happy and energetic and goofy - I want to be like that again. Everyone says there will be times in your career that are less than ideal - times when you don't like your work or where you live, but this is stupid. I'm MISERABLE.

Back from DC

Washington was amazing fun - it was really good to see Jax, Swats, Ivan, Zack, Dave, BBJ, Jeff, Johanna, Sarah, Charlie, and Brian again. I really miss having my friends closer, especially the girls (no offense to the boys). We didn't do much of anything - I still haven't seen any Washington momuments or sights - but it was the best weekend I've had in a long time nevertheless. The party was a riot and Jax/Ivan's place is huge!
Coming back to work today was... well it wasn't exactly fun. In fact, I was thisclose to crying by the end of the day. I was pretty bored most of the day and started applying for other jobs. My Penn interview is next Monday - school and backpacking are looking pretty good right now.