26 September 2005

Grumpy Nurses

Why is it that the nurses at doctor's offices are always terse and snotty? They act like you are interrupting some very delightful social party with some annoying and simplistic task. Isn't taking my blood pressure and temperature their job? Aren't they supposed to be people oriented and focused on making patients comfortable during their visit?
Despite the obnoxious nurse, I really like my Doctor. He's friendly and disarming and not at all stodgy or stand-offish. He got me through my round of preventative vaccinations and dive physical today - I have typhoid and malaria pills, along with a polio booster and the 1st Hep A shots. I already have tetnus, Hep B, menengitus, and TB, so in 6 months I'll need another Hep A and I'm set (the first one will cover me for the trip, the second locks it in for life). Basically, for the next three years (when typhois and tetnus wear off) I'll be immune to practically everything there's a shot for! Yellow fever is the exception, I think.
I also went to the dentist today (yeah, it was a "fun" day) and I have to go back! I don't mind the doctor's office and I don't mind shots and drawing blood and needles and all that, but I really have no love for the dentist. To be fair, he is a very nice dentist, I just don't like the experience of the dentist. Then again, I'm sure I'd like it even less if I needed a root canal or something awful like that (not yet thankfully!).
I'm being pretty productive (I rescued my necklace from the sink today too) and yet it still feels like there's so much to do! I need to get a place in Philadephia, I need to organise the move, pack, find storage, write Chad's rec, change addresses on all my official mail (and unofficial), cancel my gym membership, get travel and dive insurence, figure out travel between Bangkok and Koh Tao, donate to the thrift store, write McKinney, break my lease, pay bills and answer all my email. And that doesn't count all the little things that pop up all the time, but I guess I would really rather be in this (enviable) situation that stuck where I was a month and a half ago.
You know what occurred to me though? While I'm away I'm going to miss pretty much the whole holiday season. I'm going to miss Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. I'll also miss my Dad's birthday and my parent's anniversary. I'll miss half of winter (my favourite season), Sinta Klas (Dutch holiday) and Guy Fawkes Day (English holiday).
Sometimes I can't believe I'm really doing this - I can't believe it's really me that's just walking away from my life and spending 10 weeks abroad alone and going back to school. I can't believe I'm making what simaltaneously feels like a massive leap and a natural step towards a completely different life and future. One I'm not even sure is right, just not definately wrong. I guess, for me, it's not so much that I need to get to a particular place, I just need to enjoy the journey. There are certain adjectives which need to be true for my life, certain values I hold, and I can't live a life that doesn't employ them. I cannot be unchallenged. I cannot feel there is no progress being made, and I cannot feel stationary. They are not values in the sense that people think of family, integrity, etc. but they are of the utmost importance to me. I cannot and will not live and work in a place that is not dynamic, challenging, and responsive. I will not be an undercapitalised resource. This probably makes very little sense, and may well be poorly articulated, but it's something that causes a physical, passionate response even when I just think about it. Anyway... enough. I must eat and get more done.

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