24 July 2010

I feel used

Me: Sir, I would like to do a rectal exam on you to be sure you're not bleeding before I give you a blood thinning medication.
Paranoid schizophrenic patient: As long as it's you and not that guy-doc
Me: Yes sir, it will be me doing the exam.
Patient: Do what you gotta.
[rectal exam]
Me: All done sir, I'll let you clean up now.
Patient: That was the best sex I've had in years.

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