Little old man

I had a cute four year old patient today with two old-man problems: a bald spot and urinary hesitancy. His mother brought him in because of the bald spot: an oval stripe towards the front-top of his head roughly the size of a kiwi. It first appeared a month ago as a painless, small spot the size of a dime and it had steadily grown. He was otherwise well.

While the attending conferenced with his mother, he came up to me and announced "I have to go potty!" I took him by the hand and we walked to the clinic bathroom. I waited outside the door. Thirty seconds go by and I hear "Mr. doctor. Mr. doctor!" I crack the door and he's standing there with his pants around his ankles. "I want to use the giant bathroom!" I pull his pants up, take him by the hand and walk him to the other end of clinic where a more spacious bathroom is located. Again, I wait outside the door and soon hear "Mr. doctor, mr. doctor!" I crack the door. "I'm scared!" I enter the bathroom, kneel and say "How can I help you? Do you want me to lift you up or get you a stool to stand on?" He replies "I just kidding. I don't have to go potty!"

The question everyone in the office is asking me all day: what happened to that little kid's head? The answer: he's pulling his hair out.

Maybe the grown-up sized toilet at home is freaking him out.