24 September 2007

Neuroanatomy


The first neuroanatomy exam is Wednesday so I am, of course, furiously trying to cram names like sulcus limitans and stria habenularis into my brain. I labeled photographs, I have made lists of key terms, I have flipped through slide sets and I have read the textbook and somehow this subject flummoxes me. Well, not the material itself, but rather, what is the best and most efficient way to study it?

It is great practice for medical school, where will have to learn more than just neuroanatomy. If I can figure out a strategy for this class then maybe I'll be a step ahead in general anatomy. If.

19 September 2007

Medical school admissions update

# applications initiated: 27
# secondaries received: 25
# secondaries completed: 22
# confirmed complete apps: 20

# interviews offered: 6
# acceptances: 0
# rejections: 1

07 September 2007

I deserve a cookie.



A moment of victorious immodesty: I just cranked out a 115 page IRB protocol for constraint-induced movement therapy in 4.5 days.


update: It was pushed to the October 3rd review. : (

19 August 2007

Seen in NYC

"Beware of enterprises requiring new clothes." -Thoreau

Apparently, if you're dressed entirely in white, you can lawn bowl or play croquet on dedicated, manicured lawns in central park. Who knew?

Also seen in NYC this weekend: A man on a drag racing tricycle still living the funk, a dog wearing a pearl necklace collar, and a trumpet & tuba band playing (and wandering) the upper West side at 10:30pm.

Overheard in NYC this weekend:
uncle: I really like our hotel here. The location and service are great.
niece: Do we get HBO on demand?
uncle: I don't know.
niece: I don't like it then.

And to end... a nice bit of procrastination: me. Simpsonized.

10 August 2007

Paying doctors less

There was an article in the New York Times recently arguing that the best and fastest way to decrease the cost of health care in the short term was to pay doctors less. I think the best way to decrease health care costs is to pay lawyers less. After all, less pay means fewer lawyers, fewer lawyers means fewer lawsuits, fewer lawsuits means lower malpractice insurance, lower malpractice costs leads to lower patient care costs. And honestly, what part of society, health care or otherwise, wouldn't be better served with fewer lawsuits?

Regardless of my lawyer pay scheme, there are several important reasons not to lower the pay of doctors and arguably, to increase it.

First, becoming a doctor incurs more debt than any other profession so salaries are needed that can cover the cost of living and the cost of paying back loans. In 2006, the average medical student graduated medical school with $130, 571 in educational loans (that does not include loans to cover the cost of living, which average another $16,689) with 72% of graduates carrying a debt load greater than $100,000. That's an 8.5% increase over the previous year (1). Assuming a 5% interest rate, a graduate needs to budget $7,363 per year just to cover the interest on the loan.

Which brings me to the second point. Doctors make almost no money until after their residency. For example, the pay schedule for residents at UT Southwestern in Texas is listed below (2). That's a 3-4% increase annually, which barely tracks the current inflation rates (3). So a medical resident is carrying a six figure debt load and earning roughly the same salary as the maintenance workers (4) (who I assume have less school debt and little specialized training). Now lets consider that residents work at least 80 hours per week, while the maintenance worker pulls only 40. Hourly, a resident makes less than a babysitter. Compare that to a law school graduate who gets a job at a large law firm and receives an average starting salary of $99,000 (5).

Third, there is the effect on lifetime salary. While most twenty-somethings are paying nice sums into their401K and reaping the benefits of matching funds and compounding interest, medical graduates are paying all their money to their creditors. Considering the average entrance age into medical school is 24 (6) and most residencies are at least 3 years, a medical graduate will be 31 before they have a chance of receiving a salary that would allow them to save for retirement or pay off the principal on their loans.

Lastly, let's look at who in the medical field is getting particularly high salaries and why. Your GP is probably barely covering the cost of his/her practice, not making millions per year. At the hospital I work in, there are some doctors pulling seven figure salaries, but they are highly specialized: pediatric cardio-thoracic surgeons for example. That surgeon did 13-14 years of post-medical school training so he was in his forties before he made any money. If you paid doctors like him less, no one would go through the incredibly lengthy training, take on that level of risk, or be able to retire before 80.

There are a few rock star dermatologists or plastic surgeons who command high salaries, but there are a few people like that in every profession. Their wages are not indicative of the thousands of doctors practicing every day and those are the doctors that will be put out of business if salaries are lowered. Not to mention how many fewer bright young people will aspire to become physicians instead of bankers or lawyers. Paying doctors less is not the answer; the result from reduced pay is fewer doctors and therefore longer waits and a lowered standard of care.


Sources
(1) http://www.ama-assn.org/ama/pub/category/5349.html
(2) http://www8.utsouthwestern.edu/utsw/cda/dept200270/files/214265.html
(3) http://inflationdata.com/inflation/inflation_rate/CurrentInflation.asp
(4) http://www.co.monterey.ca.us/personnel/SalaryPost.asp?jt=72C19
(5) http://www.collegejournal.com/salarydata/law/
(6) http://www.vault.com/articles/The-History-of-Medical-Schools-in-the-U.S.-27653519.html

06 August 2007

Perpetually connected

I have joined the ranks of the perpetually connected... it's no longer my shadow and me, but instead, my Treo and me.

And I'm thrilled.

31 July 2007

YAY!

# of schools applied to: 25
# of secondaries received: 19
# of secondaries completed: 8
# of interview invites: 1

30 July 2007

Playing neurologist

I shadowed Dr. L in clinic recently and it turned out to be particularly eventful. The medicine itself is always interesting, but this time it was the patient's behavior that made it memorable. We saw a girl who was recovering from stroke for a routine follow-up examination. Throughout the exam she was staring straight at me and refusing to acknowledge a single question or command posed by Dr. L. After trying one last time to get her to follow his finger with her eyes, he sat down and looked at her. She finally looked him in the face, pointed an arm straight out at me and said "I want her to do it." Dan looked at me, nodded, and I walked over and stood in front of the girl. I have seen at least fifty basic neurologic exams performed and could describe it in lurid detail, but standing there performing it was absolutely nerve wracking. Dr. L was standing immediately behind me interpreting everything I was doing... I was in no way evaluating the patient; I was simply the body she interacted with.

The next patient was another female, clearly somewhat on edge. Dr. L introduced me and a visiting physician (also shadowing) and began a conversation with her. Three sentences in she announced "I know you don't think I'm going to discuss my business with all these people in the room." I promptly offered to leave to make her more comfortable, but she countered, "you can stay, but the other one has to go." The visiting physician left the exam room (I would later learn she was uncomfortable with men, as the visiting physician was male, it was simply a matter of gender). She began telling a (rather sad) story about recent events and while she was talking she curled up into a ball on the exam table. When Dr. L turned to get a pen from the desk, she hopped off the table, ran across the room to me, and gave me a bear hug. After a few minutes she released me and sat in my lap. The rest of the visit was conducted with her on my lap, one arm around my shoulders.

Most of Dr. L's patients have met me once, many of them at least twice now. Quite a few remember me when they come in and ask me how school is going, which is really quite remarkable to me. After all, I am silent most of the time, just watching and smiling. Apparently though, they are beginning to feel comfortable with me, which is a great feeling. I hope this carries over to my future career, that my patients feel they can trust me and be open the way these two girls were. The way all Dr. L's patients are with him.

29 July 2007

Summer sports

Since I'm not taking classes this summer, I've been trying to be more active. I don't have a gym membership, but that's really a good thing as I much prefer excersize that doesn't feel quite so pointless as running in place indoors. Instead, I've been playing lots of tennis and have taken up yoga - the kind done in a 95 degree room.

Tennis has been fantastic since so many people here play and it's super cheap for students. I'm now playing twice a week - one day of clinic and one day of matchplay with friends. I can feel my game getting a little better each time, which is really encouraging and just makes me want to play more. I'm working on learning a backhand slice approach shot and eventually I really need a better second serve.

Yoga has been quite the experience so far... I was incredibly sore all over after the first class, but the second was invigorating. It really is remarkably calming and I don't notice the heat at all. I'm relatively flexible, but I had no idea I was so weak! Well, maybe I had some idea, but this really confirms it!

When I was in Cali visiting my parents, I went rock climbing with a friend, Mike. It was really good fun and I'm hoping we'll go again when I head back there in late August. That's definitely a sport where I need to work on my upper body strength, but it's a great feeling when you get to the top of a route you didn't think you could do. Repelling down is pretty good fun too :)

09 July 2007

Medicine is already paying off

While in nyc to celebrate Swati's birthday, four of us piled into the back of a cab to get from the financial district to East midtown. Someone asked a question about research and I made some mildly medical comment in response. The cab driver then turns towards the backseat and says, "My hemoglobin is 9 and I have diabetes, should I be worried? What do I do?" I babbled something about glucose and blood transfusions (did he mean his hemoglobin level or his hemoglobin A1c?) followed by a strong wording of caution that I was only a student and that he should speak with his regular physician. His reply - "you are a very good doctor, I turn the meter off now."

A night in the city

It was a friend's birthday this weekend so I headed up to nyc for a celebration. Other friends from college, now in Ohio or D.C., also came up, turning this birthday party into a mini college reunion. I am ashamed to say I had been out of touch with some for two years; unless you count Facebook as meaningful interaction.
There was lots of laughter, a total of six cameras to record the event, and much frustration over the Duane Reeds in the financial district. If they all close at 6pm, where can a girl get some double-sided tape before a night out?
On the train on the way back I ran into a student from the weekly tennis clinic. He graduated to the super-secret, advanced clinic (I'm still intermediate) but after swapping stories for an hour on the railways we decided we could probably still play together. I'll just lose. Every time. Which is ok.

05 July 2007

Application update

Anyone who has been following this little blog over recent months knows that I am applying to medical school at the moment. Or rather, medical schools. My amcas has been verified and 23 schools now have my application... scary! I've begun working on secondaries, which pretty much just ask you to re-hash your amcas under different word count limitations.

Paperwork seems to be my theme at the moment (thus no cool medical stories) because work has been nothing but IRB and NIH reporting recently. Two of the three doctors in the group are away (Korea and Geneva) so all is quiet on the Neuro front.

04 July 2007

In the sunshine state

Going to visit my parents in southern California turned out to be the best decision I've made recently. My brother and two college friends were in attendance as well, so it was a bustling, full house. We baked bread pudding, which took about three hours, and ate fish, mexican, ahi tuna, and flank steak. We went through quite a few bottles of wine and soaked up the evenings in the hot tub watching for falling stars. We walked, we drove around in the convertible, we rock climbed (sore arms!) and we lounged around.
I'm not really ready to be back, but I guess that's the sign of a well-spent vacation.

25 June 2007

A real summer

For the last few weeks this little academic turned into a little socialite. There was tennis, bruchetta, wine, rum runners, bread pudding and strolls though the park. I'm hoping the tennis will continue, and I may be adding in yoga too.
I am hopping over to California for the July 4th weekend to see my family, and then hopefully up to NYC for a close friend's birthday.
In the fall my academic side will return with Nervous Systems lab (brain dissection class) and Organic Chemistry lab.
As much as I am loving the time to see my friends and the absence of exams, I am still not entirely sure what to do with myself when there is no homework!

For those of you not familiar with the rum runner:
1 shot dark rum
1/2 shot 151 rum
3/4 shot banana liquor
3/4 shot blackberry brandy
1/2 shot grenadine
3/4 shot lime juice

Drink slowly.

14 June 2007

My very own brain

This, to the left, is my brain. As in, the one in my head - the one I use every second of every day. Cool.

For those of you with no neuro background, let's name some structures.

1 Cerebellum
2 Medulla oblongata
3 Pons
4 Pituitary (right above the point of the 4)
5 Cortex
6 Splenium
7 Fornix
8 Septum pellucidum
9 Corpus callosum
10 Meninges: dura, arachnoid, pia

For the record, I have a normal brain for someone my age. The funny dark patch on the top of my head is cerebral spinal fluid (CSF), which is visible because the interhemispheric fissure was not fully perpendicular.

04 June 2007

Interventional Radiology

I shadowed a third year fellow in the cardiac cath lab today, watching two interventional procedures. The first was the expansion of a stenotic bicuspid aortic valve and the second was the closure of an atrial septal defect (ASD).

Note: The cath lab pictured is at Columbus Children's, not where I work. They look the same, though.

During the first case it took almost two hours to get access - meaning to establish a catheter in a femoral artery and femoral vein. In this case it was important to have both because we wanted to measure the blood pressure in the left ventricle and in the aorta. Ideally there is no difference; in our patient there was a 100 mm Hg gradient. This indicates that the aortic valve is very stenotic (narrow) - a condition that eventually requires a valve replacement. Valve replacements in children are to be avoided so there are two ways to buy some time: 1) expand the valve with a balloon in a catheter procedure or 2) open the chest and scrape the valve in surgery. The procedures carry approximately the same rate of complication, but each carries a different complication. Surgery generally leaves residual stenosis and interventional radiology tends to produce aortic insufficiency (backwards flow through the valve from the aorta into the ventricle).

The second case involved using a yo-yo looking instrument to plug a hole in the septum separating the two atria. If you look closely at the picture to the right you can see it in the top, just right of center. Once the catheter enters the heart, it is threaded through the hole (technically called a patent forman ovale, patent indicating open) and the first half of the yo-yo is deployed. The catheter is retracted through the hole and the second half of the yo-yo is deployed. It's very important that the placement is correct because otherwise it could loosen and go bumping around the heart or even enter the systemic circulation (depending on the size and type of closure device used).

Interestingly, you cannot actually see the outlines of the heart when doing a cath procedure. All the monitors carry continuous x-ray images and if you've seen an x-ray before you know that it's nearly impossible to see tissue with any resolution. That's how well these guys know the heart. They can tell by the ribs and chest cavity around it exactly where they are inside it. When appropriate, they will use a simultaneous ultrasound though (on which you can see tissue and blood flow).

At the end of the day, I'm not sure this is my new specialty of choice. It was incredibly cool to see and the people who work in the group were really fun (the atmosphere resembled a sports team pre and post game), but the patients are sedated the whole time you are with them and man, those lead aprons/vests/thyroid glands are heavy and hot!

21 May 2007

Notes from a long weekend

Borrowing from TWM... a few notes that came to me while (finally) relaxing for a long weekend.

  • Shrek 3 is the funniest of the Shrek movies and it deserves kudos for not becoming a 120+ minute epic. Bonus great preview: Ratatouille.
  • Spiderman 3 had a few thrilling moments, but they were so diluted by the marathon length of the film that ultimately its not worth the $12. If you must, Netflix it.
  • A friend of mine was brutally attacked by a classmate last week. You just don't think these things happen to the people you know... but then it does. Get well L____.
  • I went to three brain autopsies last week - very cool. I may have to turn this into a full post once I look up some more about kernicterus.
  • I saw Atul Gwande speak last Tuesday. He is a charismatic man who writes medical stories with the same flair Levitt and Dubner brought to economics. If you need a good book, I highly recommend Complications or Better.
  • Grey's Anatomy, much to my dismay, has become the Desperate Housewives of medicine. Remember when they had patients? Remember when there was actually some medicine on the show? On the other hand, I am loving Stanley Tucci on ER.
  • Ben & Jerry's recently updated their flavours. I am happy to report strawberry cheesecake is alive and well and I am quite enjoying the new Willie Nelson's peach cobbler.

20 May 2007

Hear me roar

Fortune has an article in it's current issue describing the entrance of Gen-Y into the post-collegiate working world. Apparently we are the most demanding, least loyal, most connected, least apologetic generation to date. That sounds about right.

I am a prototypical Gen-Yer. I left my cushy banking job for exactly the reasons this article outlines: I did not have a sense my career was moving anywhere. I did not feel like I was doing any meaningful work. I had no real responsibility. In fact, I had more responsibility running the job fair for my university than I had at work; why would anyone stay at a job that feels like a demotion?

We did have international training exercises, which were a good idea: we networked with other young hires at the bank and got a sense of the global business. Our mentors on these exercises were upper management (again, good idea). But there was no follow-through. We would perform well, get fantastic feedback, and go back to 60 hour weeks pushing F10 and occasionally F12.

I was willing and ready to work 80 hour weeks and solve real problems. Hard work and little work-life balance were fine with me if I had a sense I was invested in my job, if I felt like I was needed and making a contribution. I wrote a strategy paper on how to make our entire North American derivatives business client focused and the comment I received back was: it's 200 words too long. In true Gen-Y style I cut 203 words from one section and replaced them with "see Appendix C". Then I quit.

If I'm going to "do my time" I'm at least going to do it somewhere I can make a difference. I am training to become a physician and during my internship and residency, my "slog", I will at least be making a contribution to the health of the people I meet. It may be a smaller scale than global finance, but it's also a more meaningful one.

I expect great things of myself. Call it hubris, but I find it insulting if you expect less of me than I do. I do not accept that I should work at less than my full capacity because I am young. Age should not determine responsibility; ability should. I am superwoman.

And apparently there are 79.8 million of me.

02 May 2007

Where are you from?

I have always found this to be a particularly difficult question. And I always thought this made me weird. Nationality, or a defining point of origin, is central to our way of identifying ourselves and each other. But how do I answer it? I have two passports, where I was born is not where I lived the longest, my first language is not my best language and I am an immigrant to my father's country.

While browsing Wikipedia while studying for my organic chemistry final I came across something startling: I am not the only one. Ok, so that's not the surprise of the millenium, but I certainly did not think that people who had grown up in multiple cultures would be a unique sociological group. But we have a name: Third Culture Kids.

15 April 2007

Quirks

A little while ago TWM referenced (and a long while ago responded to) a short meme asking what he didn't like that most people did. I thought it an interesting topic of conversation and brought it up at work, where it has now become a common non-sequiter to mention an example as it pops into our heads. Here, for prosperity's sake, are a few of my own.

1. Cheese - I can't stand it. To the point where it makes me physically ill. It could be an allergy or it could just be years of loathing that have conditioned a physical response.
2. Shrek - yeah, it just wasn't that great. For me. I didn't laugh, I didn't cry... I just yawned a bit.
3. Bob Marley - his music simply irritates me. It drains my patience.
4. Doughnuts - it's something about the texture.
5. Lying on the beach - it's boring and I always always always end up sunburned.


And to add a category: things I love that other people don't seem to:

1. Neck ties - I think they look distinguished and polished. If girls didn't looks like want-to-be punk rockers in them, I would wear one with my suit.
2. Oxfords - Men have an abundance of choices for this shoe, but what happened to the women's oxford?
3. English food - scones, custard, treacle tart, bangers and mash, fish and chips, cottage pie... what's not to love?


Oh, and pet peeves is a good one too (now I'm just getting carried away):

1. Using the "is" with a plural noun (even if you pronounce it as a contraction, "there's", it's still wrong).
2. Riding the elevator down one floor (um, stairs?).
3. Answering your cell phone in the middle of a conversation with someone who is physically sitting with you.

14 April 2007

On becoming a American Democrat

Despite being a citizen from birth, it took me a long time to become an American. I was born abroad, lived my elementary years and happiest teenage years in the United Kingdom and have travelled extensively throughout my life. As a result, I was able to see America through the eyes of the rest of world: as a materialistic, selfish, ignorant and greedy brute. For years I held tightly to my European identity, steadfastly refusing to be lumped in with the rest of the American herd.

Of all the things that could make me look past the surface of what it means to be an American, it was a popular tv show that changed my mind. The West Wing, and not my AP US History class, showed me the power of what is written in the US constitution. For all the idiotic ways it's thrown about (freedom fries anyone?) freedom really is a powerful concept. Similarly, the separation and balance of powers. If you don't get a sense of awe when you think about our constitution, I suggest you take a course on world politics or rent a few seasons of West Wing.

I will admit that my father is a republican and I inherited my first political ideals from him. But even as I began to formulate my own, there was a lot to love about the republican party. I'm not talking about Bush Jr. and what you read in the NYT each morning, I'm talking about what the republican party originally stood for: individual liberty. To be a republican was to believe that people behave best when they are allowed to choose for themselves. That government should not legislate a moral agenda and that the constitution must be held sacred.

Unfortunately, the current version of the republican party more closely resembles the Catholic church in the middle ages than the founding ideals of the republicans. Apparently we are no longer capable of teaching our children morals, so we should put the 10 commandments in schools (violating the separation of church and state in that sacred constitution). Apparently the freedom of choice does not include those who disagree with what you would do with that freedom; if you are going to have gay sex or abort your pregnancy, you should no longer have the right to make your own choices. Apparently people cannot even be trusted with information, because if teenagers were taught to use a condom, they would all be having porn-style sex daily.

Let's not forget that one of the tenants of Christianity is to convert the non-believers. Our foray into Iraq is the ultimate mission - restyle the country in our own image. Bush's use of the word crusade may have been more appropriate than we are comfortable with.

His administration at home is run like the old church too - sealed executive orders, favours to friends, corruption, scandal, and a host of falsely accused victims (the attorney generals who where fired for... anybody?). His appointees appear to be chosen on the basis of their religion and not their resumes (Paul Krugman wrote an great editorial on this in the NYT).

And so I cannot, in good conscience, support the republican party. If I must institutionalise something, I would rather codify deed than thought. I would rather legislate welfare than religion and I would rather sacrifice free markets than free choice.

West Wing made me an American and evangelicals made me a Democrat.

24 March 2007

Summer



This summer is simply bursting with potential. Besides the very important observation that my MCATs will be over and I will again taste alcohol and drink sunshine, it's also brimming with highly anticipated releases. A new Harry Potter movie, a new Harry Potter book (already pre-ordered!), Pirates of the Caribbean, and Spiderman. Short of a fourth Lord of the Rings, I don't think there's a better possible cluster of likely-to-be-worth-the-ten-bucks sequels.

The summer is a blissful in-between. I will have some follow-up essays to write for my applications, but I won't hear acceptances/rejections/interview invites until fall or winter. I will have Organic Chemistry Lab, but the grade will be largely irrelevant. I will be occupied, but without the pressure and weight of the rest of the year. It is as close to a summer vacation as adults ever really get. And who knows, maybe I'll even manage to flee the country for 10 days in August (Belize? Italy? Namibia?).

If I can just make it to June.

And yes, I know Tolkein didn't write a 4th Lord of the Rings.

18 March 2007

Monthly clinic

On Friday I shadowed the outpatient neurology clinic, as I do once a month, and observed a days worth of follow-up visits. Most clinic days seem to show a theme - more likely because something registers in my subconscious than any trick of patient scheduling. Considering my recent review of genetics, it's perhaps not overly mysterious that this month impressed upon me the phenotypic markers that can signal an underlying neurologic process.

Most of you are probably familiar with some of the more famous neurologic phenotypes. For example, the Down's syndrome features of a single transverse palmar crease (simian crease), epicanthic eyelid fold, flattened nasal bridge, shortened limbs, proruding tongue, and white spots on the iris (Brushfield spots). The genetic correlate of Down's is whole or partial trisomy 21.

There are, in fact, a large number of genetic or neurologic processes that can be identified by phenotypic markers. An non-genetic example would be a perinatal (near time of birth) stroke patient. His stroke included part of the internal capsule and thus affected the neuronal tract that includes motor neurons. His stroke was right-sided, so one would expect left-sided motor affects. Indeed, because the stroke was not immediately noticed during his infancy (most infants do not get MRIs) his left side failed to develop properly. His left arm is shorter than his right (atrophy) and displays abnormal tone and fine motor control. In this case, the morphologic presentation of a shortened arm with abnormal tone allows a neurologist to begin localising his stoke before ever seeing an image.

A note about fine motor control - I get a lot of questions about this. Gross motor contol is large movements: walking, throwing, and lifting. Fine motor is things like tieing shoes, buttoning buttons, and writing. One test you might see a neurologist perform is asking a patient to touch their first finger to their thumb, then their second, third, and fourth. Another is to tap their first finger and thumb together as rapidly as possible.

Regarding motor development in infants... like anything else it's hardest to assess in younger children. Babies have little to no purposeful motor control so assessment usually consists of examining involuntery movement for abnormal posturing, tone or lack of movement. Mild deficits can be difficult to note until a child fails to develop on a normal timeline (ie, cannot stand independently or sit-up on time).

And now a genetic example. I should mention that this patient has not yet been conclusively diagnosed, we simply added Wolf-Hirschhorn to the differenital because of the phenotype. There were two children who came into clinic after having been neglected by their biological parents. It was impossible to tell whether they were delayed due to lack of input or whether there was genuine neurologic impairment of some kind. The children were placed in foster care and came back speaking 3 word sentences (they are 3 and 4 yrs old), but still underweight and incapable of tasks such as putting on clothing or drinking from normal cups. The younger child displayed tremors (attributed to more than being nervous because it affected her head as well) and the older child has "greek-helmet head", microcephaly (small head), and shortened stature. Greek helmet head is characterised by a high hairline and a broad, flat nose.

If the older child does have Wolf-Hirschhorn (deletion on chromosome 4) he's both lucky and unlucky. Unlucky because it's associated with fairly profound mental retardation, and lucky because his phenotype is (apparently) relatively mild. More extreme symptoms can include cardiac septal defects, poor development of secondary sex characteristics (genitals), renal (kidney) malformation, malrotation of the intenstines, and hand/foot contractures.

One of the important notes about these phenotypic varients is that in order to dianose anything they generally occur in clusters. For example, just having wide-set eyes or a high hairline doesn't mean you have a genetic defect or a neurologic symdrome. Cleft palate is a midline closure defect - a characteristic of Wolf-Hirschhorn syndrome. However, far more babies are born with cleft palate than Wolf-Hirschhorn: about 1 in 600-800 vs. 1 in 50,000.

10 March 2007

Because procrastination is an art form

We're bringing blood flow back
Use MRI and perfusion maps
Grow collaterals to pick up the slack
Have a surgeon synangiose it back
Get an MRI...

MRA's
You see the infact
You know who to page
We treat the AIS and ICH
Look at vertebrals and both ICAs
Get an angiogram...

[Chorus]
Come here doc
Do a neuro exam
Hemiplegia
Do a neuro exam
Left neglect
Do a neuro exam
Feel this yet?
Do a neuro exam
With mild expressive aphasia
Do a neuro exam
Hop on one foot
Do a neuro exam
Finger to nose
Do a neuro exam
Any seizures?
Do a neuro exam
Any recent headaches?
Do a neuro exam
Get another scan
Do a neuro exam

We're bringing blood flow back
Fixing what stenotic vessels lack
Check for infection with a spinal tap
What if coagulation's out of whack?
Give 'em ASA...

SVT
Or moyamoya
You know who to see
PVL or white matter injury
Sickle cell or history of CHD
Get a neurologist...

[Chorus]

06 March 2007

What do I really want?

Economists have a different way of quantifying cost that most of us. It's easily illustrated with an example: buying a candy bar at a vending machine. Let's say you have exactly the eighty-five cents in your pocket that each item in the machine costs. Most of us would say that the price of the item is, rather obviously, eighty-five cents. But an economist would say that it's not just the money you actually pay for the item, but also the utility cost of what you otherwise could have done with that eighty-five cents. In other words, buying a Snickers is eight-five cents plus the cost of not buying a Twix. The cost of options not chosen is called the opportunity cost.

This concept is actually very useful when evaluating the decisions you make about your life. In my case, choosing to be a doctor weighs against choosing not to be a banker or a consultant. Given that I can extract my expected happiness (utility) from my future career in medicene, what I have done makes economic (if not fiscal) sense. The utility gained from not being a banker outweighs the utility gained from not being a doctor. Thus, given a willingness to return to school (be it business school or medical school) it makes more sense for me to be a doctor: lower opportunity cost.

However, if my extracted utility falls below a threshold then the equation no longer holds and I would be better served returning to my previous career. Everyone has this threshold, the question is: where? Some people will go to any school and apply as many times as necessary to get into medicene - their utility difference between medicene and everything else is very large. Mine is smaller. I will not simply attend any school to which I am accepted and I will not apply year after year. This is because some of my utility is derived from my level of excellence within a given field. If I come to perceive that I would be a better banker than doctor, that will drain some of the utility from the propect of being a doctor. For better or worse, which schools you are accepted into and how many times you have to apply is a proxy for your projected ability within a field. It may not be 100% accurate, but it's a readily available metric.

This description probably all sounds very cold and calculated, but it's not really. It's simply the logical functioning of how you weigh different amounts of happiness. It quite rightly integrates the happiness lost by letting go of an opportunity. Think about how many times you have done something because the alternative - always wondering - was worse? The opportunity cost was greater than the negative outcome - it was too high not to act.

05 March 2007

The personal statement

This is a slightly unusual post. Rather than telling you a story, I am writing you a request.

It is recommended that as many people as possible read your personal statement and give you feedback and so I say - if you are willing to read my personal statement and send me feedback, I would be glad to send it to you. Provided you are not also applying to medical school and plan on stealing it if it's good.

Interesting tidbit - our advisor adminished us to not make our personal statements too self-centered. It's a personal statement, how can it not be self-centered?

03 March 2007

Welterusten, oma



On Thursday night I wanted time to freeze. I didn't want those hours counted against my MCAT study time, deadlines at work, and my ever-growing to do list. It wasn't the worst news, my parents and brother are healthy, but it was close. Apparently my maternal grandmother (oma, in Dutch) suffered a stroke and was in a coma.

I love my oma and I am sad that I will form no new memories with her, but she was in her eighties and had moderatley advanced Alzheimers. What really makes the death of a grandparent hard is watching the effect on my parents. My mother was flying out to the Netherlands, after much deliberation, and in the end missed seeing her mother lucid(ish) but just a few hours.

So when my mother returns and I am able to speak to her on the phone, what do I say? What do I say to my mother when she has lost her mother?

And then it was Friday and I had to be at MCAT class. I had to go to my medical school applications workshop - I had to catch up on the work I didn't do while I was staring at the walls on Thursday night. The computer that scores my MCAT isn't going to care that oma died. Neither will the recommendations I need, the deadline for my next vacinnation, my next organic chemistry exam, or the IRB continuing review. Nothing changes.

The biggest change between life before and life in the real world is how hard it is to keep it together. Because nothing changes.

26 February 2007

Since I didn't see the movies...

I'll just comment on the clothes.

Best dressed goes to Cameron Diaz for a fun gown that matches her personality perfectly.



Runners up: Reece Witherspoon, Helen Mirren, Nicole Kidman

Worst dressed, and this was tough as there were several good contenders, goes to Kirsten Dunst.



Runners up: Jennifer Lopez, Gweneth Paltrow, Jessica Biel

12 February 2007

How little we know

One of the neurologists for whom I work offered this perspective on modern medicene, "we have only two cures, antibiotics and surgery. Everything else is comfort."

I think he's right. Antibiotics actually kill the organisms they are designed to fight; they are an eradication mechanism. Surgery is a more extreme method to accomplish the same; eliminate the contaminant. Neither antibiotics nor surgery (if administered or performed correctly) create any additional illness or lasting ill effect.

No other treatment can say the same. Take, for example, chemotherapy. There are people who have experienced life-long remission after chemotherapy, but they also have life-long side effects. Bone loss and immune damage to name just two. Many people laughed at a recent episode of Gray's anatomy in which a cancer patient had "toxic blood" due to taking an herbal supplement while on her chemotherapy. The portrayal may have been extreme, but cancer patients are warned not to take herbal supplements because of exactly that reason; it can cause serious, toxic interactions.

Many medications are intended to provide something your body cannot self-regulate. Examples would be insulin and thyroid hormone. Less obvious ones are vasopressors and anticonvulsents. These medications do not eliminate the condition; they alleviate the symptoms to improve quality of life.

Then there are the whole host of illnesses we cannot even begin to address. How do you treat Alzheimers or Parkinsons? MS? HIV? All we can really do there is slow the progression, sedate the patient, or mask the pain.

I am not arguing that medicene has no worth or that these treatments should not be given. Quality of life for a patient with any condition, from heachache to leukemia is of paramount importance and should be continuously addressed. But I think there is something to be said for perspective. Doctors are not gods or miracle workers and we cannot and should not hold them to that standard.

There may be much we can treat, but there is very little we can cure.

30 January 2007

Not-so-dead language

This morning I was told that I would have to be at work at 6:15am tomorrow morning in order to do the research part of a pre-op research MRI.

This generally involves preparing the MRI suite by stocking the bed with hot packs, warm blankets, assorted pressure cuffs and blood gas syringes and programming the monitors for a neonate (baby less than 28 days old). Then, if all goes well (it's about 7am), the baby is brought down from the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) to the scanner by the anesthesiologist who will participate in the baby's impending heart surgery and the baby is placed in the scanner for an hour. I spend most of this hour recording vitals, sedation doses, running blood gas samples and results slips back and forth to the cath lab (catheterisation lab) and, of course, eating donuts. Then the baby goes off to surgery and I go back to my usual job (it's now about 8am).

Later this afternoon, however, the scan was called off because we couldn't get consent from the parents. They were not unwilling, so far as we could tell, but unfortunately no one speaks their primary language and I honestly haven't the faintest clue where to get ahold of a translator that speaks Aramaic. Yes, that's right, Aramaic. As in, lanuage commonly believe to be the one Jesus used and is generally thought to be less prevalent than Latin. I mean, how many high school Aramaic clubs have you heard of?

In the few hours that I was seriously pursuing the idea of getting a translation made of our consent form, I learned a little about the Aramaic language. It is, rather logically, an Afro-Asianic, Semetic language whose status is not actually "dead" but "endagered". It is the original language of the books of Ezra and Daniel and is the primary language of the Talmud. 400,000+ people speak modern Aramaic, mostly Assynians, though the communities are small and geographically scattered. It is frequently confused with the Ethopian language Amharic (also a Semetic language).

In case you are curious, the baby needed heart surgery for a transposition of great arteries (TGA), which is exactly what it sounds like. The pulmonary artery is joined to the left atrium and the aorta is attached to the right atrium (in a healthy person it is the reverse). The net effect is that the blood in the pulmonary (lung) circulation does not get to the body and the systemic (body) blood doesn't get to the lungs to be oxygentated. There is a small amount of mixing, facilitated by the ductus arteriosus (a small duct between the two arteries) that is artificially kept open through the administration of prostaglandins.

29 January 2007

A rock and a hard place

I am at the point in the get-into-medical-school process that requires the most commitment, the greatest resolve. I am taking the MCATs. Well, more precisely, I am studying for the MCATs so that I may take them on May 11th. I'm also in Organic Chemistry II, which I honestly wish would just fade into the background because I don't want to bother with it. It just seems so much less important to do well there than on the Big Exam except for the teeny tiny caveat that I've asked my organic professor for a recommendation.
I have realised that assuming I could do the above while continuing to work full time was a tad ambitous. And yet, I also have the nagging suspicion that if I were somehow to be more efficient, it woun't feel like such a burden. The thing is, I like eating with my books closed for a few minutes. I like taking a couple of hours on Sunday to eat pancakes and watch Meet the Press in my PJs. It keeps you sane - giving it up for one week, no problem, giving it up for a whole semester while you burn yourself out like a roman candle - yes problem.
Managing my time and shoveling knowledge into my head, while stressful, are not the biggest reason this requires resolve, however. No, the hardest thing to stare down is my opportunity cost - what did I give up to do this? I gave up New York City, no small thing as it's the only city I get homesick for and I've never had roots or a "home" in the classic sense. I gave up a really nice salary and all the comfort that buys. I gave up any semblence of a social life, although to be fair my job limited that too, though to a lesser extent.
I gave up the life I always thought I wanted, grew up aiming for, because I didn't want my boss' job. Or her boss' either. On some days, maybe after a hard organic quiz, I wonder if it was all a little drastic. If sacrificing the rest of your life for a little engagement at work is really such a great trade off? I'm living to work and I'm pretty sure that takes 10 years off my life-expectancy and doubles my risk of heart attack. I would love to say that stepping into the hospital makes me remember why and sometimes it does. I wanted to do something that allowed, if not forced, me to be a perpetual student and I've found it.
Maybe what I'm really feeling now is not the cost of what I've done, but more simply, reality settling in. No one job is going to make my life perfect and all the possibilities cost something. I have chosen to be happy at work even if that means sacrificing much of my outside life. Staying in finance would have meant a comfortable life but long hours at job I loathed.

I have this whole conversation with myself pretty often and I find it comforting that by the end I always conclude I did it right. Hating what I did turned me into a person I didn't want to be and even now, even with the MCATs looming I am generally happy and optimisitic. I don't have an overwhelming certainly that this is what I was meant to be or that I couldn't be happy with another profession, but that doubt makes this real. If there are no doubts, you didn't think hard enough. It's like the MCAT verbal questions: you rule two out and then go with your gut.

15 December 2006

Adding to the family tree

At the wisened old age of 24, I have become a great-aunt. My nephew just had his firstborn, Warren Ashley.

On an unrelated and amusing note, one of the investigators I work with is doing a study on visual field cut after stroke (in children). She is testing it using several custom built (simple) games on a touch-screen computer. Recently a child turned to her mother during a testing session and asked for the game for Christmas.

03 December 2006

Almost anniversary

We're coming up on one year of post-baccalaureate study so I thought it would be a good time to reflect on what I've learned. Put another way... chapter 9 in organic chemistry just doesn't sound like relaxing Sunday fun.

1. There really is a difference between old schools and new ones. My current institution has a huge endowment and my alma mater, well, it doesn't. Both are great schools, but the facilities the endowment affords really are nice. Several large libraries, each with sturdy wooden tables, lots of private study rooms (with laptops and plasma screen tvs), and laptops you can borrow for 4 hours. A 4 story gym with lots of equipment so you don't have to wait for machines or court times. Edible food.

2. There really is a difference between a top tier university and a middle tier. I'm sure you can do great things attending either, but at a great school the opportunities come to you. Brands, even when it comes to education, have power.

3. Organic chemistry is not as scary as Matter and Interactions II (honours physics II). S. and C. must have been out of their minds when they designed the curriculum for M&I II. They took a subject I loved and made it hell (bad enough I left the major), wheras organic is actually kind of fun. My hexane has a first name, it's c -y -c -l -o...

4. Getting into medical school really is that hard. There are so many hoops, most of them totally pointless and it costs a fortune.

5. Academia is just as political as the "real world". Grant money and tenure are no more a meritocracy than any other industry. The tweed and white coats just make it look that way.

6. Coffee. It's not longer recreational use.

7. Saturday labs really do suck, no matter how late they start. I've had Sat. lab for the last year, first at 9am, then 12pm, now 11am... and nothing sounds better than next semester when, for the first time since returning to school, I will have no lab class!

8. I am not a party girl. I used to look with envy at the people with busy social lives in college, but honestly, I very much enjoy dinner or a movie with friends and wearing my PJ's as much as humanly possible.

9. Diet coke is better than diet pepsi, and sierra mist free is better than diet sprite.

10. I'm going to enjoy being a doctor (but I'm definately not going to be a pathologist).

02 December 2006

Back...ish

Unlike many of the more considerate bloggers out there, I simply disappeared rather than formally announcing a break. And it was a month long. Oops. Ah, but now we're heading into finals, which can mean only one thing: procrastination! And what better way to procrastinate than to write things and assume you have nothing better to do than read them?

I did my first alumni interview for my alma mater today and the student whom I was interviewing is also applying to my current institution. This worked out well for her since I was able to offer perspective on two of her choices, but now I have no formal way to notify my current school that while she's probably quite smart, she lacks that pizazz that I associate with the people I matriculated with.

In fact, she is planning on going to business school. She is the second person in the past few days that has expressed this future plan and in both cases I have proven to be a huge hippocrite. I have a business degree. I chose to get that degree. I switched out of a science degree to earn it. But I counseled both these young ones to get something else. Economics maybe, but not business. The unfortunate thing about a business degree is that is qualifies you exclusively for business jobs and you're actually still fairly likely to lose the spot to an engineer or an economist. Quant is in, so if you have the brains you are better served getting a more quantitative degree and taking the spot from a business major. I'm not saying you can't get a job with a business degree, but you better be a business kid with a whole lot of real math (not watered down business math). Well, at least in finance.

You know what the frustrating thing is? I was a business kid with a whole lot of math and do you know what I actually used when I got to my oh-so-coveted finance job? Differential equations (not required by business curriculum), writing (something employers ought to be looking at), statistics, databases, and programming. The last two also landed me my current job. It's a very good thing I got my business degree from the institution I did.

Business degrees prepare you for a job managing people, which is a job you won't actually hold in business for quite some time. Your first years are spent doing a lot of scutwork and the way you differentiate yourself is to teach computers to do the scutwork for you. That, and be able to form coherent, articulate sentences and say them without five "ums" and a "you know?". You spend four years learning how to effectively give orders and then graduate to 10 years of taking them.

There should be a new class added to the curriculum to supplement the strategy lessons: Interpersonal Politics. It should cover:
- How to get people to do what you want when you have no leverage
- How to differentiate the people you want as your allies
- How to recognise the ones trying to take you down
- How to maintain network contacts without looking like an idiot
- How to get around people in your way
- How to work with people that annoy the hell out of you
- How to deal with a boss that's dumber than you
- How to read between the lines

Actually, adding a class in No Limit Texas Hold'em wouldn't be a bad idea for the finance concentration. Poker is the Wall st. golf.

01 November 2006

My future cat?

Vascular Neurology 101

Since a big part of my job is reviewing the charts of children who have been diagnosed with stroke, I thought it was time to put together a little quiz.

Define each of the below and label them either as 1) a stroke risk factor or 2) a stroke sign/symptom:

a. eclampsia
b. HLHS (hypoplastic left heart syndrome)
c. PFO (patent ferman ovalae)
d. PDA (patent ductus arteriosis)
e. moyamoya
f. AVM (ateriovascular malformation)
g. Otitis media
h. Hemiparesis
i. dysmetria
j. ataxia
k. aphasia
l. dysarthia
m. vasospasm
n. mastoiditis

Which pair of arteries feeds the PCAs (posterior cerebral arteries)?
Which pair of arteries feed the ACAs/MCAs (anterior cerebral and middle cerebral)?
What arterty does the PICA (posterior inferior cerebellar artery) originate from?
Where are the watershed regions located?
What is the most common pattern of ischemia for cardioembolic stroke?
What is the difference between stenosis and coarction?

For the answers... check the comments.

30 October 2006

We have a winner!

After 2 months of haphazard testing and educated guessing I think I have identified my bacterial unknown. I'd like you all to meet the Gram +, catalse +, facultative aerobe, mannitol -, coccus that is Staphylococcus epidermis.

The same day that I identified that beauty I was given my Enterobacteriaceae unknown. So far I have concluded that it is, in fact, an Enterobacteriaceae and it is lactose negative. Soon I will be getting my PCR unknown as well... lots of investigating in micro.

Orgo continues it's march onwards... we've passed the vocab, are exiting stereochemisty, and have merged into mechanisms. Enantiomers, diasteromers, and structural isomers... oh my!

19 October 2006

The personal statement

Part of step one in applying to medical school is writing a personal statement; traditionally discussing why you want to enter the medical profession. This is a problem because quite honestly I haven't faintest idea why I want to be a doctor. I don't come from a long line of doctors and none of my close relatives suffered a horrible medical course. While I don't entirely lack empathy, I think I'm on the selfish side to be the altruistic applicant. I'm uncomfortable unless I'm under pressure and I enjoy learning more than any other hobby, but I don't know if that really means doctor. I mean, doesn't banker fit that description too? I left that...

Let me not confuse the obscurity of my motivation with lack of it's existance. I definately do want to be a doctor. It's the right fit and I'm happy on this path, I just cannot articulate why. But I still need to write the essay.

On a related subject, my co-workers have started expressing indications of which specialty they believe I will end up in. One attending has put in a vote for surgery, the med student thinks I'll choose ER, and another attending concluded peds. Interesting that I came in saying neuro, work in a neuro department, and no one seems to think I'll end up a neurologist.

16 October 2006

15 October 2006

My hexane has a first name...

... it's t-b-u-t-y-l.



Having cleared the first of three exams in a 7 day period I have now "dug in" and they say and am battling it out with organic chemistry. Turns out that doing orgo is actually more engaging than many other classes. It's still work (ie, sleeping would be more fun), but on the continum of physics lab -> free ice cream it's not doing too badly. Maybe it's because building models is somewhat reminicent of the building blocks you had when you were five. Or legos. Legos with atoms.

My colleagues at work are off to the Child Neurology conference this week to present abstracts on some papers we're preparing for publication. If you happen to be in Pittsburgh and happen to be at the Child Neurology Conference and happen to come across a poster on seizures in the presentation of children with acute arterial ischemic stroke... check out the third name.

08 October 2006

Bunny Ranch tv

Work is fairly routine at the moment, but I'll be in clinic again on the 20th so hopefully there will be some interesting stories from there. In the meantime, I thought I would give you a break from all-neuro all the time.

I was watching tv on Friday night and ended up flipping to an HBO series about a Nevada brothel. Never one to pass up an educational moment, I settled on the sofa with a glass of diet coke. Honestly, my first reaction was that none of these women was hot. The ones with the bodies have faces that more closely resemble a bulldog than a person and the ones with doable-in-the-dark faces had, shall we say, "pillowy" figures. Now I know that I am not in possesion of either a) stunning good looks or b) a figure a runway model would puke for, but I'm not selling my sex appeal for cash either.

About halfway through the program one of the women is chatting with a potential client and she's showing him around the place. He grabs her ass and makes a lude pass at her. She gets pissed off, steals his money clip and refuses to service him. I fail to see how someone who pays to let men (and women) do what they with her can get away with indignation over an ass slap. Genuinely attractive women get that and worse and dance clubs and bars... get over it.

The last segment was a women who was dating the brothel owner and was getting upset that he was sleeping with the girls he employed and she didn't feel her pedastool was high enough. Uh, he's a brothel owner and all the girls pretty much have to sleep with him or they would probably lose their jobs. Of course you're not going to get this guy to commit. Hello. Duh.

I think what we can take from all this is that the women of this particular brothel are both ugly and not-so-bright. And maybe we've also learned that I think to much when watching crappy late-night television. But then, dissecting re-runs of the West Wing probably makes for a much less amusing post (but it is better tv).

27 September 2006

The Dark Side

Today was the toughest day I've ever spent in the hospital. The children were the sickest, not just of the neurology patients, but arguably in the whole hospital. Now usually, I only see patients on follow up visits; their acute events (ie, the stroke) has already occurred and been treated, or I see only the images and do not meet the patient in person. This means I have been shielded from the real crisis so far, I don't generally see the life vs death dynamic. But today, today I did.

It started in stroke conference when I saw some of the most severe image studies I think you could acquire from a still-breathing child. They were mostly infants, which means they have a high level of neuro-plasticity (adaptivity) but they are also very fragile. One child had literally 1/3 of his brain missing. He had had a hemorrhagic stroke which created a cavity in his brain; the cavity being where most of us have our right middle cerebral territory. Now the baby has a clot in his femoral artery, but they cannot anti-coagulate because of the high risk of additional bleeding in the brain. They cannot image to track the stroke because he has a pacer due to pre-mature birth related cardiac problems. Basically, the baby is falling apart and treating any one of the conditions will kill him by exacerbating another.

Next we reviewed the images of a congenital heart defect (chd) baby. These babies are extremely prone to encephalopathic (brain) disorders because their blood supply in utereo tends to be very poorly oxygenated. This child had a hypoplastic left ventricle (missing left atrium/ventricle aka a "blue baby") and now was experiencing almost daily white matter strokes. I literally lost count while we went through the images because there were so many of them. They are a post-operative complication, the operation being the placement of a BT shunt (without which the child will certainly die) and some children experience them while others do not. By the time this infant stabilized, most of the white matter was lost.

After stroke conference I attended two patient consults with my attending and the prognoses did not improve. The first patient had recovered from a stroke but was left at high risk of recurrence and with a seizure disorder. While we were evaluating her she had a seizure despite being loaded with anti-convulsents. The only drugs left in the arsenal do more harm then the seizures themselves, but the mom was hysterical. I think she thought she was watching her child die in front of her, which raises an interesting issue of how to treat the parents when you're treating the child. With the exception of status epileptus, most seizures will resolve themselves and will not cause brain injury, but the mother's ears were shut. Very little was actually accomplished and I think the mother, not the stroke, will ultimately be the problem for this patient.

The last patient of the day was by far the worst. He was not actually a stroke, but a mitochondrial disorder. If you've had biology you will recall that the mitochondria are responsible for producing cellular energy, so abnormalities can cause diffuse and severe effects. In this case, the toddler could no longer breathe without a ventilator, had lost all his language, and could not move his limbs against gravity. He couldn't swallow or hear, and was losing his sight now as well. He had seizures and was fed through a G tube (tube placed into the stomach) and his kidneys were failing. He spent June - Dec of last year in the hospital and May - July of this year as well. After the exam, the mom asked the 64 million dollar question "how long will my child live?" And then came "how much can we do?" And now began my first experience with pallative care. The answer is, the child will live to his next birthday if he doesn't get the flu. Any virus, any common bug, will kill him. Without motion or sight or verbalization, he cannot communicate pain. The question is not how much we can do for him, it's how much you want to do. What kind of life is this child living? Don't worry, children aren't like animals, we don't put them down, but we do sign DNR orders and refuse surgeries and treatments to hasten the end when prolonging it is more cruel. That's the kind of conversation we had with this toddler's mom. That was how I ended my work day. This will be part of my life as a doctor and it's harder than I thought. It's really hard.

16 September 2006

Developmentally delayed.

A group of friends and I went to a bar last night for a few drinks and to meet one of the girl's new(ish) man. Said man was very amicable and held his own with a table full of strangers quite well (cute and in a band too, well done Ms. A).

While there I was approached by a woman in a bright red top and matching lipstick as to whether I would be willing to meet her very cute single friend? As flattering as the offer was (why me?), why couldn't the guy come up to me himself? And, by the way, I'm not actually single. Then one of the guys at my table decides the woman in the red is quite desirable (after striking out with our waitress) so would I please go talk to her? I did (she's not single either), but I was silently wondering when men regressed to high school? After all, the "I'll tell my friend who will tell her friend that I think she's cute" thing worked so well then?

Around midnight, after all the fixing up fell through, I got a text from a NY (male) friend of mine exhuberantly informing me that he was, in fact, in my city drinking right now. Could we meet up, he needed my advice? Meet up we did and he talked (or rather, bitched) through last call. He called his friends (who he ditched to see me), but they weren't answering so he was now stranded. I offered him my futon, but he would have to be out early because I had to wake up and finish an assignment and get to lab. Back at my place I pull out the futon and get him a pillow. I go to bed. He knocks on my door, he's leaving, he's found his friends. As he's saying goodbye it dawns on me (from some of the untranscribed conversation) that he thought by "futon" I meant "my bed" and by "need to leave early" I meant "we'll have exhausting sex". What's worse is that, judging by the text I got the next day, he still thinks it will happen one day (never).

Out patient clinic

This past Friday I shadowed one of the attendings for a full day of out-patient neurology clinic. Thankfully I have been attending grand rounds, neuroscience conference and stroke conference regularly so I managed to at least follow the conversations and define most of the acronyms. Unlike the aforementioned conferences though, today was a mixed bag - I saw children (recall I am in pediatrics) with mitochondrial disorders, stroke, neuropathy resulting from traumatic or premature birth and descriptive clinical disorders (ie Turrets or Cerebral Palsy). There were also patients with unknown etiologies and highly atypical presentations.

A few things really surprised me. First, there is a marked difference in the involvement and knowledge level of the parents. Some could name every date and time of a symptom and the dates of every doctor's appointment for the next year, others were a little more relaxed. At first I thought the laid-back ones didn't care or didn't understand, but then I realised the real difference was which parents had accepted their children's diagnosis and prognosis.

The only children that were dysmorphic (physically looked malformed) were the developmentally delayed babies. This may have been coincidence, but pretty much all of the toddlers through teenagers looked like everyone else you see in school (some were a little hyper).

A basic neurology exam, one that looks for deficts and clinical abnormalities, is deceptively simple. I'm actually reading a book right now called The End of Medicene (it's making me angry) in which he critisizes how simple some of the tests performed in a physical are. The thing is, tests don't need to be complicated and digital to provide the information you need. An example. Put your arms straight out in front of you, palms up, parallel to the floor. Close your eyes and vigourously shake your head no. Open your eyes. Your hands are probably still level, but someone with a single hemisphere deficit will find one hand drifted downwards. Which hand also tells us which hemisphere. Yes, we need the 4D MR perfusion imaging and other complicated, high tech tests to help us accurately diagnose and treat, but that doesn't mean a simple test is worthless or unrevealing.

My favourite patient was a young boy with a head of short fuzzy blong hair in a McNabb jersey who was hyperinsulinemic/hyperammoniec. During his exam he refused to pay attention to the attending and instead was staring at me. In the end I had to stand behind the doctor to help the boy focus. While his mom was discussing recent events the boy played catch with me and climbed up onto my lap - he's going to be a real heartbreaker when he's older.

11 September 2006

R.I.P.

No, this is not a 9/11 post.

Someone I know, more specifically, someone I taught this summer, was killed. He was enthusiastic, capable, and young: he had his whole life ahead of him. I knew that most of the people in that program lived very different lives than I have. That to grow up poor and a minority in a city has certain temptations, certain risks, and a lower life expectancy, but this really drove the point home. So much potential, just... extinguished.

Every place I have lived has taught me something. Philadelphia is the city that is really rubbing my nose in the realities of life for those who didn't grow up near golf courses and taking piano lessons. The people I saw in the ER, the men I worked with in Veterans Upward Bound, even the composition of the neighborhood I live in... I have never seen so low a level of general education, so many guns, and such a high level of drugs, violence, anger, PTSD, alcoholism... and all so beautifully juxtaposed with the Ivy league, rich-kid haven that is UPenn.

31 August 2006

Since when...?

Umm... when did Al Gore become cool? He was on the MTV Video Music Awards this year and he was better dressed, more articulate, and more passionate than during all of his campaign appearences put together. Not to mention his little documentary becoming a cult favourite among said MTV set. Even Bill Maher noticed - he said Al Gore had "found his voice" with this issue. Where was all this momentum when it mattered - during the election?

And speaking of Bill Maher... he's a republican?!

On the MTV subject, I wouldn't mind knowing which boyfriend turned Beyonce from an "independent woman" to a woman who will "cater to U". She went from buying her own cars to fetching his slippers. I realise than feminism is all about choice, but come on.

Lastly, when did it become fall? Don't get me wrong, I love the cooler crisp air, the warm cuddly sweaters and the clothes that hide a few more flaws than tank tops and mini skirts, but what happened to the summer? I distictly recall waking up each day thinking the season was dragging on but suddenly I realise that it went by deceptively quickly. All the undergrads have arrived on campus again bringing bustle and life back. Shops are extending their hours and CVS has devoted two isles to binders, mechanical pencils, and loose leaf. And I'm excited. One last fling of a weekend (back to NYC again - US Open tickets!) and it's buckle-down time: work is running smoothly and my brain is gearing up for the excitement (and I'm not being sarcastic) of microbiology and organic chemistry. I love the fall!

27 August 2006

2 year-itis

Freshly exhausted from a mini-vacation to New York City, I draped myself on the sofa, switched on James Bond in the background, and settled in to read my neglected email. Somewhere between my gmail and my yahoo account it struck me: two years seems to be the statute of limitation on your first post-collegiate job. Almost every mail shooting through cyberspace seems to bear news of a company change, an acceptance back to school, or a much yearned for interview. What is it that we (and I mean the collective, early twenties "we") are looking for? Are our expectations of the "real" world that far off the mark? Are our attention spans that short? Are we so undervalued or undertrained? Why are we able to commit to relationships, cities, and dreams, but not to our jobs?

I must admit to being a particularly early mover. I left my job in finance after a paltry 15 months and chose instead to backpack and scuba dive my time away before returning to school. In retrospect, my expectations were horribly unrealistic. And yet, what I wanted was nothing particularly grand: to be respected for the work I did, and to feel engaged and active in the process. It is the second half that led me to quit so quickly. After four years of maxing out my brain, it was suddenly switched off and that was more depressing to me than a six day work week and a two and a half hour commute.

As a result, I've now committed to the field in which you are a permanent student: medicine. It also happens to be the longest road to travel. Law school is three years, an MBA is two. A PhD is five, but I will be 30 when I get my MD and will still have my residency before I can prescribe meds without a guarantor (so to speak). I sincerely hope that it's not commitment phobia that makes us all change our minds so soon after school because the last seven months have shown me that medicine is exactly what I want to do. I am thinner, happier, and dare I say it, even a little more grown up.

Interestingly, most of the other post-bacs here are concerned over their ability to become physicians. While I have my moments of doubt (especially about the MCATs), I far more concerned over my ability to follow through than to pass organic chemistry. My worst fear is not rejection from medical school, it's inability to commit to a path. To accept reality for what it is, rather than what I want it to be.

15 August 2006

Before I die

I keep a book of things I want to do before I expire. It's not a morbid book. It's meant to remind me of the fun things I dream about and encourage me to take new adventures. I glue in pictures of the things I want to do and then glue in photos of things I've done. There's also a world map in the back with dots on every place I've traveled to.

Now, I'll come back to my book in a moment, but did you know how many esoteric lists of things to do before death are out there on the web? A few of the more unusual ones...

300 Beers to try before you die
50 Things to eat before you die
20 Hamburgers you must eat before you die
50 Places to flyfish before you die
5 Sentences Before you Die
101 Sex Tricks to try Before you die

So what's on my list? Here's a little sample of what I haven't done, but want to:

Be published nationally, own a dog, own Wellies, own a horse, work abroad, get a graduate degree, ride in a glider, be a teacher, own real artwork, ride in a helicopter, visit India, have my own library, get a motorcycle license, see penguins.

And what have I already managed?

Ride in a hot air balloon, see a solar eclipse, see an amazing band in concert, own superhero underwear, go scuba diving, go skydiving, visit Australia, visit Thailand, visit Russia, fly in the Concorde.

14 August 2006

And now for something completely different...

Finals are done and fall term doesn't begin until August the seventh. Accordingly, I find myself with all kinds of free-time on nights and weekends (recall, I now work full time in neurology) and anyone who knows me knows I get a teensy bit stir-crazy with free-time. In an effort to stave off relaxation-induced madness I've been exploring and I thought I'd show you some oddities from about town.

First, there was this sign outside a church. Apparently they are running out of ways to attract new parishioners and have resorted to a) declaring themselves cool, which any actually cool person/thing/activity would never have to do and b) advertising the presence of air-conditioning.



Then, there was the man with the pigeons all over him. Why would anyone want pigeons all over them and why is he wearing a suit when it's a million degrees out?



Inspired by the heat and for lack of an appropriate beach, there was this gem: a sandcastle being built on the sidewalk near the University.



And lastly, you know you're in a college town when the supermarket stocks up on back-to-school pong balls.

01 August 2006

Disclaimer!

Identifying information of persons mentioned in the blog have been altered to protect their privacy. This includes, but is not limited to, age, gender, race, date of visit, date of death, etc.

This blog is for entertainment only; please do not use it to diagnose or treat anything. I'm not an MD (yet) and may be wrong.

If you have questions or comments, feel free to comment on the blog posts or email me at webster.sm12@gmail.com.

Enjoy!

31 July 2006

Keeping Starbucks in business

For those of us lucky enough to be in summer classes, today is the first day of finals week. For those of you that have completed the collegiate phase of your life, you'll remeber this was the week you didn't get to drink. For me, this breaks down to: Neurochem tonight, Cellular Biology Wed night, Chem lab II Thurs morning and Clinical Research Thurs afternoon. Three days off... then my brand-spanking-super-fantastic new full-time job kicks off.

Because my brain is completely full and there's nothing I can write to make arcuate nucleus/paraventricular nucleus control over feeding behavior interesting to someone not already interested in neurochemisty... I thought it would be amusing to analyse the behaviors of post-bacs studying for finals.

# of libraries open on Sundays in University City: 1
# of post-bacs I spied from my one little chair in said library: 11
# of them who brought communal home-made gingersnaps: 1
# who bought snacks/lunch from Wawa: 11
# places besides wawa to get food in the vicinity: 0
# strange people with suitcases and smelly curry: 1 (not a post-bac)
# of med students in the medical library: 1
# undergrad TAs called into the library: 1
# cups of coffee consumed by post-bacs that day: lost count
# ice creams the girl I studied with ate: 2
# ice creams I ate: 0 (really!)
# text messages I sent while "studying": 23
# "quickies" I had between the stacks for stress relief: 0
# times I had sex that day/night for stress relief: none of your business ;)

Good luck everyone!

26 July 2006

Screwdriver + Chest = Pericardial Centesis

A day of teachable moments in the ER...

A patient was helicoptered into our ER from another ER (why is not exactly clear) with a stab wound to the left chest caused by a screwdriver. The patient had marked jugular distension (bulging neck veins), extreme hypotension (ie, no blood pressure), and muffled heart sounds. What does this (Beck's triad) of symptoms indicate? Cardiac tampenade!

The patient was bleeding into the sac around his heart (the pericardium) and this was putting pressure on the heart itself. Since there is no space around the heart, it cannot expand when filling with blood, limiting the volume of blood that can enter the ventricle. This means less blood is being pushed out with each contraction (decreased stroke volume and thus low blood pressure) and a build of of venous blood in the neck (think of a traffic jam in your superior vena cava).

To treat this particularly life threatening issue, the blood is drained from the pericardium while stabilizing the patient to get them to the OR. This draining procedure is the pericardial centesis and they performed it on the patient twice.

Had the patient been registering a blood pressure, we probably also would have seen pulsus paradoxus: a 10 point drop is systolic (top number- ventricular contraction) blood pressure on inhalation (breathing in). When you breathe in you are actually expanding your chest to create a highly negative pressure (4x less that the atmosphere) inside your lungs. This pulls air into your lungs (goes from high pressure to low) but it also helps pull thoracic blood (blood in your torso) back towards your heart. The thing is, if your heart can't expand because your chest is filled with blood, then filling the right side with venous blood leaves very little room on the right side for oxygenated blood coming from your lungs. Thus, even less blood is pushed out of the left side on contraction and you have an even lower blood pressure.

The trouble with working in the ER is that you don't "follow" your patients. He was alive when he got to the OR, I have no idea if he still is.

21 July 2006

Real Time Blogging from the ER

18:05 shift starts and all I have to start off with is three domestic violence screenings. In the process though I meet a very friendly third year med student.
18:30 checking the board for patients when a dr. comes and shows me a right wrist fracture on x-ray
19:30 finally consented a man for the cardiac study after trying to wake him for half an hour. Had to bang on the bed and even then he kept falling asleep in the middle of sentences. Chronic cocaine abuse, but seems to think quick highly of himself. Seems to think I would be fawning all over him if I'd met him in the hospital..hah!
19:50 dr. showed me cardiac man's EKG, unremarkable.
20:02 finally get to sit down for a minute to eat the food we ordered. Chicken kabobs with pita and tabolae salad.
20:25 processed cardiac man's bloods. Got 26 crio vials from the four tubes, takes about an hr to get through.
21:30 another round of domestic violence screenings to do...I've got seven so far, that's how many you generally get in a whole shift. This time I did one with the docs in the room on a 17 yr old pregnant girl. She's not the youngest pregnant I've seen either, record sits at 15.
21:41 Sophie whips out the MnMs - she's always got goodies :)
22:00 cardiac man is asking for even more juice (carton #6?) and is now claiming to be a singer/songwriter/politician/filmaker. Annoyed that dr won't give him Percocet so asking for a new dr. No doctor here will prescribe it (note in his file) so med student pretends to be a second opinion and denies him Percocet.
22:30 doing a domestic violence screening while playing swords with a woman's son. Apparently McDonalds now has inflatible swords for Pirates of the Carribean.
22:40 played patient advocate for some patients whose nurses had gotten busy; it's one of the side jobs, being able to help people by making sure they get the attention they need.
22:45 trauma alert went off for an incoming assault victim. ETA, less than 5 mins.
23:30 assault was pretty nasty - hit with bricks and planks by multiple assailants while trying to protect his father. Swollen and cut all over, still in his collar.
23:35 cardiac man is being transferred to a rehab facility because "to have a serious music career you really have to be clean. It's the Beatles, they brought all the drugs to the music. That's why they killed John Lennon, they were afraid people would follow him over the President."
23:55 wrapping up the paperwork and cleaning up the desk. Quick chat with the med students (they're pretty and have more time to be social). Should be out of here on time tonight, which will be a welcome change

07 July 2006

Nothing to do with medicene

Since so much of my (recently sparing) writing involves the hospital or class or some form of medical research, I thought I'd take a moment and reflect on the small corner of my life that is everything else (aka a life).

My parents trekked out here from LA to come and spent the fourth with me. I haven't seen them since last October, so the visit was welcome and singularly well-timed since I had just completed my midterms. They brought a heat wave with them, which was particularly tough on my mother when combined with the humidity so we needed some air-conditioned time. This was easily solved with a few boxes of hair dye - transforming me into a brunette became my mother's two-day project. We managed to find great seats for the fireworks, though we were less than impressed with the Lionel Richie concert (it's elevator, put-on-hold music). We also found the best Indian food this side of well, the globe, at Cafe Spice. Yum.

I have landed myself the coolest job ever as a clinical research associate in pediatric neurology where I'll be working on pediatric stroke and other cerebral vascular disorders. I'm really excited about it and with some luck and diligence I might be celebrating publication sometime in the next year and a half.

I've reached the six month mark with my "significant other" - a time span that simaltaneously feels like an era and a second. Next milestone, his birthday. Thankfully I have until September to think and rethink my gift selection.

My brother is off galavanting through Italy and my friends have all migrated (or are migrating to) California. I have been feeling the call of the West lately... though I shall have to put CA on hold until at least Christmas.

Right, I'm out of interesting tidbits... time to work/watch Netflix movies... fill in procrastinating activity here.

03 July 2006

MoyaMoya

MoyaMoya is a cerebral vacular disease occuring most frequenting in Asian populations involving vascular occlusion (blockage) in the basal ganglia. On some occasions the brain grows many small vessels around the occlusion in an attempt to compensate for the decrease in blood flow, while other cases require cranial surgery.

This is one of the diseases I'm becomming familiar with now that I'm working in pediatric neurology research (yay!). The image below is from Hawaii and shows the occlusions fairly well. The image work I'm doing actually produces 4-D scans of the vascualture and allows us to calculate blood flow and velocity to different regions of the brain.



On a different note, we had a 186kg woman in the ER the other day. That's 410lbs. That's substantial.

Bella the MG dog

When we covered Acetylcholine (Ach) in neurochem one of the disorders we discussed was myasthenia gravis (MG). MG is an autoimmune disorder in which your body produces antibodies that block the Ach receptors of the neuromuscular junction. What this means is that when a nerve cell releases Ach to initiate muscle contraction, the muscle cannot receive the signal. The most prominant symptom of the disease is catalepsy (the inability to initiate voluntary movement).

The video (click here) shows Bella, a small dog, who has MG. Initially she cannot stand up and when the vet administers a blink test, she shows no reaction. The vet gives Bella some Edrophonium chloride, a drug that temporarily increases Ach tone. Subsequently, Bella can be seen running and reacting to the blink test until the medication wears off (it's called a Tensilon test). Bella is now on Pyridostigmine, a longer acting drug that also increases Ach tone, and has 75% of a normal dog's ability.

18 June 2006

Bottom of the ladder

Being a pre-med, post bac otherwise, is about as far down the proverbial ladder as you can find yourself. You are highly motivated to do something, but qualified to do nothing. The goal, when in the hospital, is to stay busy. Maybe even be useful occasionally. And to try not to be demoralised by the looks you get when you inevitably reveal that no, you're not a doctor and no, you can't treat [insert condition here]. It's the coats and ID badges, it confuses people.

A recent shift made all this very clear to me. For the first three hours nothing much was happening (in the post-surgery ward), but we were down two staff members, making those people with qualifications a tad overworked. That meant all the "comfort" care-taking fell to me and I was excited. I was busy. Really busy. Fetching juice, water, ice, gowns, blankets, paperwork for admits, answering phones, etc. Then it started, the after-dinner potty rush. None of the RNs or CNAs had time for this, so I spent my night rushing around putting people on the potty and into bed and cleaning up after the process. What's interesting is how thrilled I was to be doing this: it's about as close to doing something actually medically useful as I'll ever get before entering med school.

The it happened. Respitatory distress. A patient's O2 sat was in the 70s and not rising. Everyone was crowding into the room trying something. I was paging respiratory and medicene. Then came the discovery that we didn't have a continuous pulse ox, so I was calling every floor near us to borrow one. When I brought it back, the resp guys were there (the medicene consult would take another 40 minutes) and they let me stay in the room while they did their assesment (the family was kicked out). The patient had had a tracheotomy but was accumulating fluid and had to be constantly suctioned. Medicene came and did their own exam. We found our pulse ox. When I got back from returned the borrowed one, the Ear Nose and Throat (ENT) team was there. And when I say team, I mean TEAM. They brought a small army, all in matching green scrubs and surgical hats. They ate all the cookies, they crossed their arms and looked stern. They bantered with the medicene guys, but in the end, they didn't actually do anything as far as I can tell. The patient was to be moved to the SICU or MICU (intensive care units) where there are more monitors and more RNs/MDs per patient. Patient's O2 sat was climbing slowly. Crisis averted.

Time to put the remaining patients to bed and answer all the lights that had been ignored for the last 80 minutes. I go to help one of my favourite patients, we'll call him Dr. Doolittle, to discover that the charge nurse had kindly brought him a tape player and a book on tape over the last week. She brought him the New Testament on tape. He's Jewish.

06 June 2006

It's the thought that counts...

... and I had a lot of blog pieces floating around my head, but none of them seemed to make it out into cyberspace. Maybe I was too busy studying my chemisty and cell biology (exams today and tomorrow) or maybe I was too busy indulging in birthday fun (yes, I'm 24 now), but most likely I was just too busy living my life to write about it.

So, instead, the highlights...

There was a patient in the ER with a 108 degree fever suffering from heat stoke, I had my first positive domestic violence screening, a man with a cable through his eye, a boy whose father brought him in after beating him, a 28 year old boy rejecting his second stem cell transplant for Hodgkin's lymphoma, and my first baby ultrasound.

I had a whole post planned on the new Treasury secretary, former Goldman Sachs CEO Henry M Paulson, and how his new job is nothing more than PR. I was intending to put the short version here, but it's still a good post so maybe I'll still write that one. It will just be a tad less timely.